Honolulu Senior AdvisorWhat are the signs of caregiver burnout?
Signs of caregiver burnout include constant exhaustion, poor sleep, losing your temper with the person you care for, withdrawing from friends, getting sick more often, missing work and feeling that no one else can help.
Caregivers in multigenerational Oahu households often carry this alone while working full time. If you recognize several of these signs, treat it as a care problem to solve, not a personal failing.
Where can Oahu caregivers get help?
Oahu caregivers can get information, counseling, support groups, training and respite through the Elderly Affairs Division's family caregiver support program at (808) 768-7700, and statewide help through the Hawaii ADRC at (808) 643-2372.
Hawaii's Kupuna Caregivers program supports caregivers who work while caring for a kupuna, with services such as adult day care, home care or respite. Ask EAD about current funding and waiting lists.
What does respite look like in practice?
Respite can be a few hours of in-home help each week, regular days at an adult day care center, or a short stay in a care home or other licensed setting while the caregiver rests or travels.
Oahu's 23 certified adult day care centers are the most common form of regular respite; the largest has a certified capacity of 99. Some care homes also take day care clients, up to three at a time.
When is it time to consider a move?
It is time to consider a move when the caregiver's health is suffering, when care is needed at night as well as during the day, or when the person being cared for is no longer safe even with the help available.
A move is not abandonment. Many families find their relationship with a parent improves once someone else is responsible for the hands-on care. See when a parent can no longer live alone.
How can mainland relatives help a caregiver on Oahu?
Mainland relatives can help by taking over tasks that can be done remotely, such as bills, insurance, Med-QUEST paperwork and scheduling, by paying for respite hours, and by visiting for a week so the main caregiver can rest.
A regular family call with a shared list of tasks keeps one person from carrying everything.
At a glance
| Sustainable caregiving | Burnout caregiving | |
|---|---|---|
| Help | Regular respite and paid help | One person doing everything |
| Health | The caregiver keeps their own appointments | The caregiver's health declines |
| Plan | A backup plan for emergencies | A crisis when the caregiver gets sick |
| Family | Tasks shared, including by mainland relatives | Mainland relatives unaware of the load |
Sources include Hawaii Administrative Rules chapters 11-100.1, 11-90 and 11-800, HRS 321-481 and 321-1.8, Office of Health Care Assurance rosters and pages, the 2026 HHS poverty guidelines, CMS, CareScout and VA rate tables as cited above; see our editorial standards.
